Range G3-G5. On paraphrased texts of anonymous personal ads appearing in the Village Voice and the New York Times in 2006. All titles are the authors’ originals - I. Adorable Cutie with Brain, II. Fantasy Dancer, III. Elegance Seeks Upscale Quality, IV. Redhead, Petite & Beautiful, V. Endangered Species, VI. Please Have All Your Marbles, and VII. Starlight Princess.